wow, kids. it's 2008. what is up with that?

so. i guess i'm sort of making my return to lj. after nearly six months of hiatus. and you know what? i'm a little scared.

life is still crazy. i'm still working far more than i should be. i'm still trying to maintain a semblance of a social life. i'm still doing my pharmacy course work. i still can't find enough hours in the day to do what needs to be done.

but i missed you guys. i missed writing. i missed the communities, the friendships, the support. i missed hearing about everyone's day. i missed reading fic. i missed silly fangirling.

i've just missed it.

so i'm here. and i can't promise that it won't all overwhelm me and i'll need to disappear again.

but i want to try. because fuck, you guys are awesome and life is alot emptier without you all.

♥ mwah.

HIATUS ♥ ♥ ♥


there's just too much happening at the moment. i'm neglecting lj, i'm neglecting my writing, and i just need some time to organise things and get things running smoothly again. i need a break, because i end up feeling guilty when i don't update for a week. and i just need that feeling gone, for a little while.

i love you all and i miss you so much already. i'll still be around; myspace, email (cathiemcmath @ gmail . com), mobile phone (0409 668 029) - so please, feel free to pester me if you feel so inclined. ♥

i don't want to be away for long. i love this place. i'll be back as soon as i can.

love you all. xoxo

okay. so, hi.

i'm still struggling with time here, guys. i don't know why, but things have just suddenly blown up. work is crazy, stuff at home is crazy, social life is crazy, assignments are crazy - IT'S ALL JUST TOO DAMN CRAZY!!

i've managed to get things sort of semi-organised this weekend, so i'm hoping that i'll be a bit less absent from now on. but seriously, i'm missing you all so so much. it's quite amazing, actually, how much i love you guys. but i really felt it over the past week and a half, not being able to chat and be silly and write sexy sexy smut with you all.

NEVER LEAVE ME, HOKAY??? ♥

and uh, because i'm rapidly running out of update time (WHERE DOES IT ALL GO?):

+ i've been jotting down fic in the back of my work course book when i can. so don't think i haven't been writing. BECAUSE I HAVE! hopefully up soon is fireworkfiasco's peter pan fic and synecdoche's house/cam/wilson. and after that, possibly more rpf.

+ i have my new car, and it's so fucking lovely to have my own transportation again. you have no idea.

+ i continue to fall more and more in love with mark every single day. that boy amazes me, sometimes.

+ speaking of the boy -

( manly, manly wrestling photos here )

one day i'll have to elaborate a little more on the wrestling those boys do. they're bloody good at it, and put alot of effort into it all. i adore them.

+ link me up if i've missed anything major, kids! fill me in on gossip and such. i feel so out of the loop! trying to catch up with you all, but it's a task and a half!

♥ kisses!

wait a minute, let me just check.

...

yep. i'm still alive.

just busy as fuck. with absolutely no free time.

i'm going to collapse into bed now. but i just wanted to pop on here and say that i love you all and miss you heaps and can't wait for a HUGE catch up on the weekend. hope you're all doing really well, kids!!

♥ ♥ ♥

GUYS!

seems to be my luck might be turning around.

I BOUGHT A CAR YESTERDAY!!

it was well within my budget, and it was kind of sort of fate. and hee, it's cute. it's not with me yet; i have a bit of paperwork to do first, but hopefully by this time next week, it'll be in my driveway. YAYNESS!!

but for now? photo time!







( THE PRETTY! )

and i have no real time to catch up with you all but seriously. guys. LUCK TURNING AROUND!! ♥

i nearly fainted again at the gym today.

i'm okay, nothing happened. but dude. jayson (my trainer) and i have sort of come to a conclusion that it's got something to do with when i really exert my chest muscles (pectorals, in particular).

and i know from my earlier posts about this that quite a few of you have experience with heart murmurs, so i'm asking: have you heard of anything like this before? do you think this has to do with the murmur at all? does anybody know anything about why working THAT particular muscle group would cause me to faint?

i probably should be asking a doctor these questions but, you know. i don't want to. lol.

AND ON A MORE FUN NOTE!

i have a few things i want to write at the moment. but i just can't seem to get a push on any of them. main priority is writing some house/cam/wilson for my darling synecdoche (and i'm going to have fun, because i've missed those fucked up three!) but after that?

Poll #1017925 [my words were faded]
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 11

what should cathie write?

if you chose other (you just had to be difficult, right?) please specify:

and which pairing/s?

and should there be sexing?

it's 9:42 and i'm going to bed. i'm such a granny.

night night flist. *smooches*

i made the best discovery while grocery shopping tonight.



SAJDALJHAKH;ADHJ ROCK-A-DOODLE!!!

does anybody else remember this movie? I SWEAR TO GOD i have been looking for it for years. and i could never find it in an australian release. and i don't have a multi-regioned dvd player at the moment, so dude. I SAW THIS TONIGHT AND FREAKED OUT.

and it only cost me ten dollars. can anybody say HELL YES?

i watched it as soon as i got home and couldn't believe i still knew most of the words and sdksadhadsljhad;hl, i pretty much teared up at the end. i freaking love this movie so much and i am so glad i found it.

if you haven't seen it? go rent it, or something. and watch. it's not like the best animated movie ever made -- not even close. but it's cute and clever and has MEANING and goddamn, chanticleer is one of the best heroes ever (even though he doesn't really DO anything! lol! i still luff him!)

so yeah. that kind of made my weekend. *grins*

and just quickly? i want to give the oh so lovely synecdoche a great big massive cuddle. she's one of the most gorgeous people i have had the pleasure to meet and she deserves nothing but the best. i'm thinking of you, darling. and i'm serious. tell me what you want, and i'll write it.

♥

a big thank you to my gorgeous fated_addiction for the inspiration. rpf is the most fun thing to write EVER. thank you for feeding my addiction, babe.

CHARLIE BROWN/SNOOPY NEXT, HOKAY? ♥

also, this write up of fellow aussie (!!) baggers stumbling onto the filming of an svu episode helped inspire this. when she mentioned chris and mariska playing with august alot? MELTED MY HEART A LITTLE. also the mentions of dry humping didn't hurt, either.






title: there’s no hope for us here
fandom: rpf (real person fic)
characters: christopher meloni, mariska hargitay, christopher/mariska
word count: 1,259
rating: pg-13
spoilers: nothing ♥
summary: They’re asked about “chemistry” and she can’t help but laugh when Chris pulls her closer.


( there's no hope for us here )

there's definitely not enough sex here. i'm ashamed of myself.

give a girl some help?

what are your favourite angry songs?

something with a little omg you fucking suck i fucking hate you this is fucking retarded i want to punch someone or dance really violently I AM SO ANGRY (and yet, i am still awesome - everyone else just kind of sucks!). anything, kids?

i don't have enough angry music right now.

edit: okay, so i'm rephrasing my initial request. angry is definitely not the right word here. that's not what i'm looking for. i'm after music that is... empowering. i'm struggling for the right word here, guys.

i want 'you know, you really suck and i hate you but guess what? I AM STILL AWESOME AND MUCH BETTER THAN YOU WILL EVER BE!' - you got anything like that for me?

i want to get up at six am tomorrow morning so i can go for a run. and, um, that means that i should probably be going to bed now, right? right.

i'm trying to write jim/karen post-beach games fic. it's sort of working and then sort of not.

And now they’re in his car, and he’s driving, and she supposes that they’re going back to his place.

He still hasn’t spoken. And the silence is making her lungs ache.

“Jim.”

He keeps watching the road.

She tries to push a laugh past her throat, but it comes out sort of strangled. “Weird night, huh?”

grrrrrr. muses? come play, please.

also, i'm writing disney!fic for fireworkfiasco. because she did for me and i like to repay people when they make my melt into a puddle of mushy goo. so there. is a tinkerbell/peter/wendy triangle too weird? even for me?

i don't want to go to work tomorrow. i reaaaaaally don't.

goodnight, kids. it's time for dreaming. ♥ mwah.

just a drive by post. i am exhausted and my legs ache and i hate work at the moment.

BUT.

*flails*

my dear fireworkfiasco wrote me fic. and not just any fic, kids. she wrote me disney fic. ERIC/ARIEL DISNEY FIC. and omg, it is so incredibly fantastic that it breaks my heart a little bit. and makes me want to cry. in all the best ways. it just... it just... ajkhdaljgsdgdasglad. there are no words.

read it. it's awesome. she's awesome. kris, really babe. i meant it. marry me?

and you so know that i'm writing disney fic for you now, right? RIGHT? *grins*

♥

i'm contemplating erasing all of my icons and starting from scratch. i think i keep a few of them there purely for sentimental value - i don't even use them anymore. so, maybe it's time to start afresh.

or, maybe i spend too much time thinking about my icons. whatever.

i have the craziest urge to change my layout again. but i think i do that far too often. so i'm holding off. for now.

edit: and now i've just fucked up my layout. grrrr. but i'm too lazy to fix it. meh. maybe later.

mark and i had a fun afternoon yesterday. we did a bit of shopping (he bought me a gremlins shirt! ftw!), had some lunch, and then went gold class to see the 'transformers' movie. and omg. such good times. the movie was awesome (i may or may not be a little in love with optimus prime. for reals.) and the gold class cinema was fucking fantastic. seriously, it has spoilt me forever. i refuse to go back to the regular cinemas now. i want comfy, comfy recliners and a table and waiter service and SUNDAES every single time i go to the movies now. okay? okay.

i plan to write this afternoon. yay! i should also do some of my pharmacy course work. but, um, we'll see how that goes. lol.

AND OMG! YOU GUYS! SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS! fireworkfiasco wrote me some awesome, awesome beauty and the beast loveliness. it's their first kiss, right? AND IT'S FUCKING AWESOME AND IS LIKE SHE TOOK IT OUT OF MY HEAD COZ IT'S TOTALLY HOW I SEE IT IN MY LITTLE FANTASY. you should go read it. and adore her. ♥

and if anyone else wants to write me disney!fic? i'll kinda want to have sex with you. a lot.

going to see a mechanic about getting mum's car fixed this afternoon. so that we'll have a driveable car again. fingers crossed that it's not going to cost me an arm and a leg.

♥ ♥ ♥ i've missed you guys. really. i'm terribly addicted to this place and to you all. it's a little scary. (but then not because you're all AWESOME!)

i've gone from feeling much less emo to EXTREME!EMO!CATHIE in about two minutes.

i just spoke to the officer who handled my accident. and basically? we're not getting any money from the semi-trailer's company.

there's too many gaps. can't prove he clipped me. no paint on his trailer. no witnesses actually saw him hit me. he's got a clean driving record - no tickets in over fifteen years! and hey, i've only been driving for three years, right? SO OF COURSE I MUST BE IN THE WRONG.

sjsadkjhsalas -- i can't even, god.

so, we have to pay for the damage to our car. and i know. if we had been properly insured, it would be an easy thing to deal with. so yes, we're partially to blame here for not being insured. but fuck. it just fucking sucks.

i got off the phone and went to my mum and immediately cried. she was lovely. calm and understanding and saying, 'darling, these things happen', and she was telling me not to cry but i just... i can't help it.

if we couldn't afford to pay for insurance, how the fuck can we be expected to pay for the repairs?

more than anything, i just feel so guilty. if i hadn't of been driving mum's car... if i hadn't of gone to the gym that morning. it's just so fucking retarded.

comments have been disabled, because i don't really want to talk about it. i just wanted to vent a little. and update you guys on the situation. thanks for all your kind words so far, i do appreciate it. i just... i want to stop thinking about this now.

it makes me cry far too much.

so i've been okay with the not having a car thing since thursday night. because mark took the day off work on friday so he could stay at my place thursday night, and he was here all weekend. which was so lovely and normal and so i was okay.

then tonight? as he arranged for his mum to come pick him up and take him home? it hit me that i probably won't get the chance to see him now until saturday. because he doesn't have a car he can use and i don't have a car i can use and it's all just so fucking retarded.

then, as we're waiting for him to be picked up, he plays 'all out of love' by air supply. AND I FUCKING CRIED. but okay, okay, before you judge me - the opening lyrics:

i'm lying alone with my head on the phone
thinking of you till it hurts
i know you hurt too but what else can we do
tormented and torn apart

ahahahaha i'm so emo it's almost funny. except that it's not.

anyway. i updated my personal canon meme answers with all of fireworkfiasco's requests. which include hugh laurie, herself, her and hugh's babies, roy, river tam, peter pan, ariel and MUCH more. go check it out, it's actually pretty amusing, if i do say so myself. lol.

my legs are itchy. boo.

i made cupcakes tonight. some with green icing, some with pink, some with blue and some with purple. they've got sprinkles and stuff and are awesome. (though not that tasty, to be honest).

i have to catch the train to the gym tomorrow. ergh. i feel like i'm fifteen again, checking bus and train timetables and planning my day around them and fajlhasljhsahls, i hate not having a car. have i mentioned that already?

hi, guys. tell me something smile-worthy, please. ♥

question: does my icon make you come?

correct answers include - yes, hell yes, OH OH OH OH MY GOD YES, and a sigh of fuck baby, yes.

gorgeous hunk of a man. for reals. i miss my office liek whoa.

i'm trying not to let the whole car situation get me down. mum's bosses have given her the use of the company car while we sort things out, which is lovely of them and makes me feel less guilty about her getting to work and such, but i am not allowed to drive it. so. it doesn't help me any.

i haven't seen mark since sunday and yes, i know, it's been like three days. but i'm so used to seeing him every night and falling asleep with his arms around me and his breath against my cheek that seriously, this is killing me. i just end up crying randomly throughout the day.

yes, yes, i am lame. i know. shut up and let me vent.

i am writing john/rashida for sherlockelly (even though it's entirely late, sorry babe!) and ahahaha, i adore rpf. it's such evil fun.

also an update on the personal canon meme will be up soon. with facts about aladdin and peter pan. *grins* fireworkfiasco, just remember that it was YOU who corrupted disney for me.

title: it’s about telling the future
author: cathiexx
ratings/warning: r. drug use. sex. lots of swearing. good times!
word count: 1,422
author’s notes: for my darling misunderstood_b who wanted birthday smut. i hope this fulfills the requirements. hope you had a fantastic birthday, sweetness. i’m sorry this is late. ♥



( it’s about telling the future )

my luck at the moment? really pretty fucking awful.

i was involved in an accident coming home from the gym this morning. a fucking semi-trailer wasn't watching where he was going and merged into my lane WHILE I WAS THERE and clipped me, sending me into the grass bank in the middle of the high way, where i lost control of the car and spun around and hit the safety barrier and pretty much freaked out.

meanwhile, the semi-trailer didn't stop. at all.

long story short? i'm okay. i had a lot of people stop and get out of their cars and help me (because honestly, i was in shambles) and a couple of guys even managed to get the registration number and company name of the trailer. they were all very helpful, making sure i was okay and calling the police for me. they all gave me their numbers so that the police could contact them for witnesses.

the police took my statement and all that jazz and followed me home as i drove the car back. basically, the car can be driven but the steering is all crazy and out of whack and the suspension is stuffed and yeah, it's not safe to drive.

so we no longer have a car.

that's why i feel so horrible. the police and witnesses have all told me that it wasn't my fault, i did nothing wrong, that the semi-trailer driver is officially at fault and that i actually should be proud that i handled the car so well that i didn't affect anybody else and stopped safely, but the thing is? my mum doesn't have a car that can be driven. she needs to get to and from work. and it's just... fuck, this stuffs everything up.

the police called me back later today, and told me they were still chasing up the details from the truck company about insurance details and whatever. i guess i'll be hearing from their insurance company next so... yeah. the police have assured me that the trailer's insurance company should definitely have to pay for the damages to the car - but that shit takes time, you know?

this just... really, really sucks. this is the last thing i need right now. this is the last thing my family needs. and all i want to do is collapse into mark's arms and now i can't even do THAT, because he doesn't have a car that works and now i don't have a car that works and now i'm fucking stuck here at home.

seriously, life. cut me a fucking break. can i at least win the lotto now, or something? WE NEED A CAR!

ha. so. i'm twenty one.

...

now what?



thank you to everyone who sent me lovely birthday messages - i really, really appreciate it and it does mean a lot. ♥ special mentions have to go out to thermy777 - thanks for the yummy cupcake, dear! julester1 - SLITHER!!!! and hee, earrings and post-its and beautiful card and really dear, lovely lovely package of birthday fun. i love you so much. teenwitch77 - em; i've already gushed about your package of love, but really. THE FICS? john/jenna + jack/elizabeth + wilson/cameron = ONE VERY HAPPY CATHIE. i adore you, gorgeous.

also? misunderstood_b wrote me very sexylovelyhot teacher/student original fic, it's all over (we couldn't find a fat lady to sing) and fireworkfiasco wrote me angryroughaffair smut, just another day in paradise.

guys, seriously. stop spoiling me.

i've got some birthday presents to post too, soon. june babies are all over the place. we win the world, kids. <3 i'm just sort of killing myself at the moment trying to make sure preparations for the part-ay tomorrow night are all good. really. i think i'll be glad once this is over. lol. all this planning is KILLER.

so i crumbled to the overwhelming peer pressure and created a myspace account. lol, i know. i'm lame. but hey, if you're lame too and have one, come say hi. i need friends. ♥

today felt like a complete waste. boo.

um, i have nothing more of substance to say. so, bye.

OH. OH. I DO HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY sherlockelly!! hope you have a wonderful, wonderful day darling and enjoy yourself. you, dear, are hilarious and clever and fun and just deserve the best time ever! and june babies rock! ♥

(p.s - there may or may not be some john/rashida smut in the works for you. sshhhhhh.)

so i've just tried to catch up on a week's worth of lj. and ha, it's just not happening. you guys are just far too productive, hokay? cut it out. (don't really. just.. wait for when i'm around more. deal?)

here's the cathie news, anyway:

~ i saw brand new on saturday night. and holy mother of god, one of the best concerts in my LIFE. just, nnnnngh. so intense and amazing and fucking spectacular. they played for two hours, guys. we were spoiled.

~ my pharmacy opened up another shop last week. we had it, ages ago, but then in dec of '05 it got burnt down. and it's taken this long to rebuild and reopen. so crazy. but yes, things have been majorly hectic at work. which is why i've been away. constant, constant craziness.

~ my 21st birthday is on friday. ♥ ♥ i've got a party happening on saturday night and i'm trying to run around and organise everything for that. which uh, isn't going real well. i've still got a pile of invitations sitting next to me that i haven't given out. whoops. (by the way, bertiebob and missymeggins? i had proper invitations to mail out to you guys, but i'm an idiot and now i'm just going to message you. sorry for the late notice, guys).

~ and also on the birthday note? misunderstood_b and i have the same birthday. we rule. lol.

~ updated the personal canon meme with answers for rashida jones, james gunn, jennifer morrison and james wilson/allison cameron. more answers still on their way.

and that's about all from me. tell me if i've missed anything, guys. link me up! ♥ missed you all.